LET’S GET IT ON! The fight has officially started and I have drawn the sword of truth to point out with righteousness the way to vote in this most awesome of tournaments.
Variable Colony Carrier Super Robot vs. Fake Real Robot
I changed it up a bit, given that Gurren Lagann is the ultimate possibility machine there are modes and modes to choose from, each more epic than the previous. If you vote for the fake real robot, it means you like putting up a front – like you’re supposed to be cool and realistic and scientific and shit. But the truth is you want to power things with your will, your hot blood, only that you have neither, because you suck.
Ultimate melee Gundam vs. Slower than Giant Robo (unpossible)
Giant robots have guns and cannons, but almost always they end up in each other’s faces and hack each other up with melee weapons. The Gundam Exia is the finest expression of this ideal; combining speed, agility, and an incredible humanoid silhouette that effortlessly wears a large arsenal of weapons. The way it fights is exciting and fast-paced, maximizing the possibility of the animated medium. The Big O is slow and fights slow and ugly, substituting pomp for actual combat effectiveness. The Exia will cut it to shreds, and all the fanboy gnashing of teeth won’t be able to stop it. Useless size is something overcompensating retards truly love.
Pilot can be taken out by small arms fire vs. God of Song that Tunes the World
IT DOESN’T MATTER IF I PILOT A HUMONGOUS MECHA IF DAVID WITH A GODDAMN SLINGSHOT CAN TAKE ME OUT BECAUSE SOME IDIOT DESIGNED THIS COCKPIT. Some idiot fanboy will attempt to extend this farce by spinning this into some statement about the police officer pilot’s badassery. RahXephon doesn’t even have to facepalm from shame of being in this matchup. He has wings on his face, like a God.
Takumacallit moeshit vs. DEAD PEOPLE POWER ME TO MAKE PEOPLE DEAD machine
Some idiots voted in this stupid magic robot piece of junk with no real expectation it will win. They don’t even want a robot to win Sai Mecha. Some douchebags just want to watch the world burn. On the other hand, some people actually like mecha, even if they’re 2nd-rate Macross derivatives, because Z Gundam… Tomino Yoshiyuki put some special sauce in this one… putting to use all them characters he keeps murdering (in order to kill some more). That’s something robot fans can get behind.
Shin Getter Robo vs. Hades Project Zeorymer
One fights super ugly robots by rubbing together three super ugly robots to form escalations of ugly crap. The other lays low enemies (and everything else) by rubbing its balls together. Zeorymer is baller and the new Getter Robo is the same old shit. Well, some people are super loyal to the stink they love. Other people appreciate a damn good robot.
Realer than thou-art vs. The Sheer Joy of Robot Design Freedom
Some people will vote for the thing that lays their fantasies low, that puts a fake ceiling on the fantasy that is super robot anime and calls it realism, because they are fake-loving losers. None of them actually want this piece of trash to win Sai Mecha, no one. But they congratulate themselves for liking this over actual triumphs in mecha design because they’re that inauthentic. The limitations of surfing as a spectator sport is how the whole thing is on sea-level, and the surfer is often obscured by the wave she rides. It’s just as much about the waves as it is the surfing. Take out the big waves and put the surfer in the sky, make the thing move in all directions, including climbing straight up… a cut back drop turn, and plunge straight down in a deadly attack. Then make it a giant robot. Easiest vote ever.
VF-25 Messiah vs. Mazinger Z
It’s a shame only one can go through this round. The Messiah is an ambitious name for what really is a mass-produced military fighter, the perfect one. Mazinger Z is the god itself. It’s the perfection of the real robot ideal (not the realistic robot faggotry, mind you) vs. the prototype of the super robot ideal we remember love for. Macross Frontier reminded me of my first contact with real robots, only much faster, more amazing. Mazinger Z Shogeki Hen reminded me of my first contact with violent robot anime, only more awesome.
Delphine vs. Mazinkaiser SKL
It’s a shame only one can go through this round. The Delphine and its field modifications confounding its opponents made Broken Blade actually watchable and awesome. But there will be dolts who will vote for it because they like the story especially in manga form. Ugh. Mazinkaiser SKL needs even far less of a story as an excuse to inflict medieval carnage in a fantasy battlefield. The Delphine is a fantasy real robot, SKL is a fantasy super robot. Both emerge from the bowels of the earth, but only one does it in a truly awesome way. The answer should be obvious, and thus my vote.