The previous entry on What The Robots You Voted for Sai Mecha Round 1 (Earth Side) Say About You resulted in a mass self-awareness event. No need to thank me, I’ve only arrived at my Newtype powers in the thick of battle: it is only in a contrived environment like the Sai Mecha can one release all the limiters and crush one’s enemies!
Sure, they’re all mecha fans just like me. But in all other cases I must be nice to them, take care of them, listen to their opinions as if they’re these fragile little rodents that may run away when their pet robot show gets dissed, or when their taste gets treated as if it isn’t some kind of standard of middlebrow perfection. In all other cases I have to take care of some kind of robot anime fan community. Well, who fucking died and made me the janitor of this shithole corner of the internet?
We’re all adolescent and post-adolescent robot cartoon fags. Why should any one of us get any extra respect? Now in Sai Mecha, every one of us has something at stake, I can and will be ruthless. We actually care about which robots that get voted. It’s not creepy like Sai Moe where moefags fight each other on which girl is the most fappable (oh they do fap to them, except you, dear reader of course!). We robot fags care which robots win because we can imagine a battlefield filled with wreckage and our chosen unit(s) stand triumphant on top of a mountain of the dead and destroyed, swords dulled, magazines empty, armor punctured in more places than we care to count.
We look forward to the carnage, and with the powers I’ve cultivated in robot faggotry the past few years running this blog I prod you into the battlefield with brands of hellfire.
If you voted for The Big O
…you probably also voted for the fat, fake Egyptian in drag, from the Earth Side. You also think robot anime’s finest days are long gone and only vote in Sai Mecha to spit on the newfags. Vote instead for Gundam Exia and remember that all robot shows point to the future – something these dinosaurs are determined to forget!
If you voted for MS06-Zaku II
…you’re a Zeke supremacist with a Gihren Zabi poster in your room. Or, you’re hamburger waiting to happen. Vote for Master Gundam instead and try to get accepted in the best school in the Earth Sphere: THE SCHOOL OF THE UNDEFEATED OF THE EAST.
If you voted for Gundam Deathscythe
…you want a Priest to molest you… like Garterbelt. Vote for the Z Gundam instead and wish for Yazan to violate you!
If you voted for RahXephon
…you like your robot battles to be a lot of standing around and doing nothing so… you like slice of life anime? Vote for Escaflowne instead and discover your hidden fetish for long noses.
If you voted for Mazinger Z
…you’re old as fuck and wear a diaper to avoid peeing on the couch. Vote for the YF-19 instead and learn the joys of being a douchebag without ever having to take responsibility for your actions (AND get the girl, the guy, and the creepy AI!).
If you voted for Alteisen
…you’re an obnoxious fake oldfag who only discovered most of robot anime after playing Super Robot Wars who now picks OG mecha to act more hardcore than SRW casualfags who play the game to use mechs and pilots from anime they’ve already seen and like. Vote for the Scopedog instead and show your real robot cred and true love for GRIMDARK.
If you voted for God Gundam
…you’re a try-hard super robot fag who hates on newfag super robot shows because you believe everything worth watching ended in the 90s and have a serious hard-on for your older brother. Vote for Gurren Lagann instead and stroke your hard-on for your fake older brother.
If you voted for Arbalest
…you’re a fake robot fan who has only seen Fumoffu. GTFO. Vote for Nirvash TypeZero instead and like rainbows, sky surfing, and alien loli angst (yeah yeah she’s a teenager but is only probably 5 years old in alien years so shame on you, pervert).
Thanks to ExecutiveOtaku for awarding this to me on the field:
Now that you probably feel you’re a loser either way you go, VOTE NOW in the Sai Mecha Tournament!